Good morning all @raspberrytalk wrote the following message on @facebook last night. I wanted to share it with you all because I am so proud of @raspberrytalk for writing this, it must of taken all the courage he can gather to write it. Oh and before you all ask he has given me his permission to share this. Lets all be more open about our mental health.
To my friends and family, just so you all know and I can stand up and say it ... deep breath ....
I have mental health problems!
As well as my physical and neurological health issues, I have Cluster B Personality Disorder (look it up!) with rage control issues, Panic Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, Agoraphobia and good old fashioned Depression (no, that doesn't mean "being a bit sad or down" and yes, I do consider killing myself on a fairly regular basis). ...
My seizures are apparently Conversion Disorder (which is part of Functional Neurological Disorder), which according to my psychiatrist means they're all in my head, but according to my psychologist they're physical/neurological! Those of you that have had the pleasure of witnessing them can make your own minds up about that bit
Am I ashamed? Yeah, a bit. Actually quite a lot!
Do I think people, including friends and family, look at me differently? Yeah, a bit. Or I could just be paranoid .... yeah, add that to the list! lol
But more than anything else? ..... I am just so totally and utterly fucking terrified all the time about what the hell is happening to me and what is going to happen next, what am I going to do to my friends and family and how the hell is my beautiful wife supposed to deal with it all
Am I upset, shaking and almost in tears while I write this...? What do you think?
(well, the shaking bit is a given since I generally do this most of the time anyway! )
I've actually just spent the last 10 minutes staring at the screen trying to decide whether or not to press "Share"
I have mental health problems!
As well as my physical and neurological health issues, I have Cluster B Personality Disorder (look it up!) with rage control issues, Panic Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, Agoraphobia and good old fashioned Depression (no, that doesn't mean "being a bit sad or down" and yes, I do consider killing myself on a fairly regular basis). ...
My seizures are apparently Conversion Disorder (which is part of Functional Neurological Disorder), which according to my psychiatrist means they're all in my head, but according to my psychologist they're physical/neurological! Those of you that have had the pleasure of witnessing them can make your own minds up about that bit
Am I ashamed? Yeah, a bit. Actually quite a lot!
Do I think people, including friends and family, look at me differently? Yeah, a bit. Or I could just be paranoid .... yeah, add that to the list! lol
But more than anything else? ..... I am just so totally and utterly fucking terrified all the time about what the hell is happening to me and what is going to happen next, what am I going to do to my friends and family and how the hell is my beautiful wife supposed to deal with it all
Am I upset, shaking and almost in tears while I write this...? What do you think?
(well, the shaking bit is a given since I generally do this most of the time anyway! )
I've actually just spent the last 10 minutes staring at the screen trying to decide whether or not to press "Share"
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