I think it was back in late 2014 that @raspberrytalk got to see yet another psychiatrist, but this time the guy seemed not to be shocked when @raspberrytalk had an outburst (punched the wall!). He also seemed to have a very thick folder full of all the reports done on my husband by other head Drs. I think this folder also included all other medical reports done on @raspberrytalk, which me and @raspberrytalk were supprised by. After what seemed like forever of talking to this head Dr he said he could see me and @raspberrytalk needed some kind of help. He said he’d talk to some collegues of his and get one of them to meet us at a new appointment. Both myself and @raspberrytalk felt that finally he would be getting some real help with his mental health issues. He was not offered help before because of his rage control issues, but this new head Dr was prepared to see past all of that and try to find a collegue who was also willing to help.
It seemed like ages before the next appointment. I was sort of looking forward to this one because I felt like it was the start of some real help for @raspberrytalk, which would also mean less stress for me. Having to deal with @raspberrytalk outbursts is very stressful and always takes alot out of me physically and mentaly. I was also hoping he’d get help for his panic attacks and anxiety, which were both getting worse and I was struggling to cope with @raspberrytalk when he had these spells.
The second appointment seemed to go well and both head Drs seemed to want to help. The second head Dr wanted to make another appointment so me and @raspberrytalk could talk in more detail about @raspberrytalk medical history and anything else he felt would be relevent.
@raspberrytalk and I were understandedly frustrated with the fact we’d have to yet again talk about stuff we had already spoken about with other head Drs. It seemed as though that all we ever did was talk with these head Drs and then never got any further. However, this time seemed more hopeful … or so I thought.
I think it was late April 2015 before we got to see the second head Dr again. @raspberrytalk was very anxious during the whole appointment, he even started scratching his arms and making them bleed. I kept trying to stop him but, even with me doing this, he will still do it. The head Dr even spoke to me and asked some difficult questions, which I answered honestly and I even ended up crying. By the end of this appointment the head Dr said he thought we needed joint treatment because from what he’d seen and heard it was clear that what was happening to @raspberrytalk was affecting our relationship, which is true. Being a carer for my husband has changed things and having to cope with his mental health problems has put a serious strain on our relationship. The Dr said he would talk to one of his collegues - for God’s sake! How many more head Drs did we have to see before we got any help?
By now I was getting so frustrated with the fact that we had to see so many different head Drs, but I was also feeling a sense of hope and thought we were really going to get the help we so needed.
So here we go again with the telling of @raspberrytalk medical history and any other relevent information. This usually takes up most of a session. The new head Dr seemed more interested in what I saying rather than @raspberrytalk, she was basicaly a family/couples therapist. @raspberrytalk said to me “you know this is going to turn into couples therapy”. I told him maybe not.
To cut a very long story short, we must have had at least 6 sessions with this lady and everytime I mentioned getting help for @raspberrytalk Rage Control issues the subject was avoided by them and not spoken about. It was at this point I started getting a sinking feeling because I was realizing @raspberrytalk was right and all this lady was doing and offering was couples therapy.
I think it was at our 5th session that she admitted she could not help with the rage control issues and gave us a contact number for MIND. Well I contacted them and they no longer offer help for anger management either. However, they did give me a few links to some local therapists, but they all charge for their time which we can not afford on benefits.
I can’t even begin to tell you how frustrating all of this is for me and @raspberrytalk. I had really hoped 2015 was going to be the year we got some proper help for him. I feel like the whole year was wasted and I also feel like the system has failed @raspberrytalk once again. Unfortnately it’s only going to get worse with all the cuts to the NHS and benefits. I’m really at a loss as to where to turn or who to talk to next.
Well, at least we got to have a holiday last year … but even that ended up being a disappointment … just read this and you’ll know what I mean.
The couple’s therapist has now signed us off and we are still struggling with @raspberrytalk rage control issues, panic attacks, agoraphobia, PTSD and anxiety as well as all his physical problems. Just what the hell do we have to do before we get some proper help? … I am really struggling with dealing with his mental health issues. I don’t want to sound selfish but, I have my own health issues to deal with too ...
Anyway, I’ve written to our GP in desperation and hope that he will be able to help or at least be able to referer us to someone who truly can help. I only just sent this letter so it’s a case of playing the good old waiting game …… which, to be honest, just frustrates me even further.
Take care of each other
A while ago someone suggested that all us carer’s should write down what we do. Basically a job description, which I thought was a good idea and it’s not until you write it all down that you realize how much you actually do as a carer.
A while back I had to write down and explain everything I do for @raspberrytalk for a letter I had to write in support of him to get his DLA. It surprised me how much I actually do and how many of the things I do without realizing I do them (sounds strange I know but it’s true). For example, making sure that @raspberrytalk does not drift into a road/person when walking.
Also, while writing the letter, it made me see that I do things that I never thought I'd ever be able to do. Which also made me realize how much being a carer has changed me. It’s made me stronger and more assertive when I needed to be; I’m normally not an assertive person but, when it comes to being a carer, I am. Sometimes I read my old blog entries and think I'm reading about someone else entirely. I’m sure other carers will be able to relate.
|DESCRIPTION:||Looking after the physical and mental health and well |
being of @raspberrytalk.
I have probably forgotten loads of things, but this is all I can think of at the moment.