The Unwanted Guest … (ROB)

I’m sure many of you had unwanted guests at Christmas, some of which you are able to turn away, some that you can’t and you just wish they would go away.
Any of you that read my blog on a regular basis will know who ROB is. For those of you that are new to my blog, may I suggest that you read the 3 people I live with before reading any more of this blog entry.
My unwanted guest decided to come Christmas day, just before serving up Christmas dinner, which was just perfect timing don’t you think? ……
I was not expecting to see Rob at all and I was certainly not prepared to speak to him. Unfortunately Rob comes out to play when he feels like it and he doesn't care what else may be going on. I was not in the mood for Rob, so when he started verbally attacking me, I broke down in tears. And, as usual, even though I broke down like this I still tried to calm my husband (Rob) down. But the more I tried the more angry he got and more of Rob came out. I even lost my temper a bit at one point and shouted at my husband and I even threw a glass bottle outside (fortunately it didn’t break!). I know I shouldn’t have done this, but I was so frustrated that Rob decided to come round for a Christmas fight.
Like I have already said the more I tried to calm my husband down the more he got into a rage and used me as a verbal punch bag. That is certainly how I feel when he goes into Rob mode. Also, even though his mother and step father were here, it was still me who got the full brunt of Rob’s verbal abuse. L
I felt so frustrated afterwards for several reasons. Not being able to hold it together was the main thing, but also that I didn’t even notice he was coming out to play. I was also frustrated that there is nothing I can do for my husband when he gets like this. I’m sure other carers out there that care for someone with mental health issues feel this way too.
Don’t know what the answer is, but I do know both me and my husband need some help with managing this side of him. Will we get the help we need this year?


  1. Hi there I found you in a tweet and decided to stop by. I'm a full time Carer too and you are right it's one of the hardest jobs there is!
    Sending (((hugs))) Maz x

  2. thank you Maz, just had a quick read of your blog like me you don't hold back.