More Awareness Please……….

 

I personally think there needs to be more awareness of mental health conditions.

Whenever something is in the press they usually talk about DEPRESSION, DEMENTIA, Alzheimer's, which is great because we do need to be educated about these conditions, but there are so many more Mental Health Conditions. We never hear anything about the Cluster Conditions. My husband has what they call Cluster B. Even as I'm writing this blog I'm having trouble finding links about the Cluster Conditions, so how on earth how am I to help my husband if I can’t find much info on the condition?
Also, because this condition is never mentioned in the press, people think you’re mad whenever you mention it or they want you to explain it in more detail, which in itself is a nightmare to explain.

I personally think there should be more press about all mental health conditions, because I think the more we hear about these different conditions the more we can recognise them and help people with any of them.

   

It was recently Time To Talk Day, but how many of you knew this? I only knew because I follow @timetochange on twitter. I watch the news and even sometimes watch breakfast TV and I didn’t see anything about the Time To Talk Day.

I also feel the press only talk about older carers (50+) or carers that are children. I personally think no child should ever have to be a carer and I have a lot of respect for those that are, but what about the carers that are say 40+ and are caring for someone in that age range? There never seems to be any press or awareness of these carers or the people they care for. It can be very frustrating for me being someone in this age range and caring for someone in this age range. Also I noticed that a lot of the charities will only help either the really young carers or older carers (50+). What about the middle aged carers? We need help too!

I’m just glad that there are so many carer groups on Facebook that understand that carers come in all shapes and sizes.

 

Anyway …. Here’s a couple of mental health groups on Facebook:-

Carers Connected

Making Mental Health Positive

 

Remember Take Care Of Each Other,
Carer’s Vent

 

Technorati Tags: carers,carers connected,mental health,cluster b,mind,awareness,time to change,time to talk,carers vent,raspberrytalk,depression,dementia,alzheimer's

The Unwanted Guest … (ROB)

I’m sure many of you had unwanted guests at Christmas, some of which you are able to turn away, some that you can’t and you just wish they would go away.
Any of you that read my blog on a regular basis will know who ROB is. For those of you that are new to my blog, may I suggest that you read the 3 people I live with before reading any more of this blog entry.
My unwanted guest decided to come Christmas day, just before serving up Christmas dinner, which was just perfect timing don’t you think? ……
I was not expecting to see Rob at all and I was certainly not prepared to speak to him. Unfortunately Rob comes out to play when he feels like it and he doesn't care what else may be going on. I was not in the mood for Rob, so when he started verbally attacking me, I broke down in tears. And, as usual, even though I broke down like this I still tried to calm my husband (Rob) down. But the more I tried the more angry he got and more of Rob came out. I even lost my temper a bit at one point and shouted at my husband and I even threw a glass bottle outside (fortunately it didn’t break!). I know I shouldn’t have done this, but I was so frustrated that Rob decided to come round for a Christmas fight.
Like I have already said the more I tried to calm my husband down the more he got into a rage and used me as a verbal punch bag. That is certainly how I feel when he goes into Rob mode. Also, even though his mother and step father were here, it was still me who got the full brunt of Rob’s verbal abuse. L
I felt so frustrated afterwards for several reasons. Not being able to hold it together was the main thing, but also that I didn’t even notice he was coming out to play. I was also frustrated that there is nothing I can do for my husband when he gets like this. I’m sure other carers out there that care for someone with mental health issues feel this way too.
Don’t know what the answer is, but I do know both me and my husband need some help with managing this side of him. Will we get the help we need this year?

Technorati Tags: Mental Health,mind,carers,christmas,personality disorder,rage control,carers connected,mental health video,cluster B

Making of a Mental Health Video

For a long time I have been wanting to do more for spreading awareness of mental health.

I have been retweeting stuff on twitter, but I felt this was not enough. So my idea to do a video came to me one night while wide awake in bed. The original idea was just to have captions to music, but after discussing it with @raspberrytalk we both agreed that actually talking about mental health would be better.

I was going to do the talking on the video, but I then thought it would be more impactful if we had both sides - mine as the carer and @raspberrytalk as the caree.

We neither of us dreamed this would take us on such an emotional journey - some feelings that had been buried come up to the surface while doing the video. But most of all, doing this video reminded us of what a good team we really are.
During the editing process it almost felt like old times when we used edit wedding videos together. Just a pity we don't have a decent camera any more :(

 

WE NEED TO TALK MORE ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH AND STOP THE STIGMA
 

@mindchairty
@stampstigma
@timetochange
@recoverycastle
@carersuk

Special thanks to
 our Family
Carers Connected
@raspberrytalk 

Importance of Supportive people

 

Those of you that are regular readers of my blog know that a that i wrote about the importance of support http://carersvent.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/the-importance-of-support.html

In this blog entry I am going to be talking about the need to have only supportive people  in your life when you are a carer. My husbands family have been so supportive and i know if i need to talk I can go to them. there are also a lot of carers groups on Facebook, the people on these groups are so supportive and they never judge me either. I am thankful that these groups are out there and i am thankful to my husbands family, don’t know where I would be without all of you.

  

I recently spoke to a member of my family and they said i make everything about me. to cut a very long story short this person has not actively kept in touch with me over the years. Also when i have told them about what i am going through they have replied with sorry to hear that but we all have our problems………..you would think they would ask if there is anything they can help me with or just let me know i have their support. this has not been the case and when i spoke to them earlier this week i ended up telling them to F off out of my life if they think i am selfish.

I know some of you will say “but they’re family”, but as someone who is a carer I need to surround myself with supportive people and not negative people. I don’t have the energy to deal with negative people or people that are just not supportive.

 

Special Thanks to

@raspberrytalk

@recoverycastle

@carersconnected

@carersuk

All my husbands family

BATTLE Caree VS Carer

I was in two minds to write this blog entry and that is probably why i have waited so long to write it………..anyway here goes………….
I am sure a lot of other carers will be able to relate to what I am going to write about. I love my husband very much and he loves me very much, but since I have become his carer there has been a battle going on between us.
My husband can be very stubborn and so can I. Also my husband is still coming to terms with the fact that he is ill/disabled and needs a carer. So because of this most days he will not listen to me. I seem to know his limits more than him and i seem to know when he’s doing to much. It doesn't take much for my husbands body to get worn out, he will do something as simple as to try and make a cup of coffee and he will be tired. But despite the fact he knows all this and I'm always telling him, he will still try and do things he just can no longer do. It’s even worse when we go out anywhere. He will refuse to use his wheelchair and he will also sometimes get frustrated when i tell him not to do something because I know the affect it will have on him…
Some days I do feel like I'm constantly telling my husband no. I almost feel like a mother telling her child to stop being naughty! This is not how i want mine and my husbands relationship to be like, I want to care for him but i hate what sometimes seems like a constant battle between Carer vs Caree.
A few weeks ago i was really struggling with my caring role because i felt like i was forever having a battle with the person i love so much. I even thought about not being my husbands carer any more because of the battling, I felt it was affecting our personal relationship which being a carer for a loved one can do.
So what stopped me? I think it was mainly the support of other carers on Carers Connected. Just letting how I felt out and then being told it was normal and just knowing the support is there for me (even if only emotional support) from people that understand how I feel.
I did eventually speak to my husband about how i was feeling and he admitted he is a handful…the battle is still going on, some days worse than others and I think there is no real solution to this, but we’re both aware of it and trying …..

One of the lovely ladies who runs the page Carers Connected also runs Recovery Castle  was founded in 2012 by individuals affected from a range of mental health difficulties. It aims to encourage and empower those affected by mental health difficulties through peer support, both online and through local community workshops.
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