The Unwanted Guest … (ROB)

I’m sure many of you had unwanted guests at Christmas, some of which you are able to turn away, some that you can’t and you just wish they would go away.
Any of you that read my blog on a regular basis will know who ROB is. For those of you that are new to my blog, may I suggest that you read the 3 people I live with before reading any more of this blog entry.
My unwanted guest decided to come Christmas day, just before serving up Christmas dinner, which was just perfect timing don’t you think? ……
I was not expecting to see Rob at all and I was certainly not prepared to speak to him. Unfortunately Rob comes out to play when he feels like it and he doesn't care what else may be going on. I was not in the mood for Rob, so when he started verbally attacking me, I broke down in tears. And, as usual, even though I broke down like this I still tried to calm my husband (Rob) down. But the more I tried the more angry he got and more of Rob came out. I even lost my temper a bit at one point and shouted at my husband and I even threw a glass bottle outside (fortunately it didn’t break!). I know I shouldn’t have done this, but I was so frustrated that Rob decided to come round for a Christmas fight.
Like I have already said the more I tried to calm my husband down the more he got into a rage and used me as a verbal punch bag. That is certainly how I feel when he goes into Rob mode. Also, even though his mother and step father were here, it was still me who got the full brunt of Rob’s verbal abuse. L
I felt so frustrated afterwards for several reasons. Not being able to hold it together was the main thing, but also that I didn’t even notice he was coming out to play. I was also frustrated that there is nothing I can do for my husband when he gets like this. I’m sure other carers out there that care for someone with mental health issues feel this way too.
Don’t know what the answer is, but I do know both me and my husband need some help with managing this side of him. Will we get the help we need this year?

Technorati Tags: Mental Health,mind,carers,christmas,personality disorder,rage control,carers connected,mental health video,cluster B

The madness that is Christmas ...

So, it’s only so many weeks until this thing called Christmas which always seems to create such madness every year.
As most of you know, my husband has trouble going out of the house at the best of times just to do some shopping with me. So we try and do shopping at quiet times to reduce the stress to him and myself. I actually hate food shopping anyway and just find it so much more stressful when I have a disabled person with me - I have to be so alert and try to stay calm …… nightmare.

So this year rather than leaving our Christmas food shop until a week before, we have bought things over the last few months.
“But that's not so easy to do with meat” I hear you say. Well this year we have ordered our meat from our local butcher. All fresh from local farms and we’ll be picking it up on 23rd. And it’s all better quality and slightly cheaper than the supermarkets!
Most of the vegetables will be frozen. Yes, I know fresh is better, but frozen veg is a lot less hassle …...
Our kitchen is tiny, so there’s normally only enough room for one person (me!). Last year there was two of us prepping the food and 2 others constantly coming in and out and it was a complete nightmare. So that's the other reason to have frozen vegetables – no prep, chuck it in a pan of water!

What about naughty bits?

Again, as soon as this stuff was in the shops we bought what we wanted. I have to say though that, despite what the papers keep reporting, the supermarkets seem to get the Christmas things in later and later each year, not earlier. We also had to go to several different supermarkets to get everything. Maybe I should shop online next Christmas?

Now for some general advice:

• If possible make sure you rest when you can, Christmas is a very hectic time.I’m lucky this year as we will be having my mother in-law and her partner staying with us. So no matter what there will always be someone with @raspberrytalk.
• Make sure all meds have been collected and there’s plenty to cover over Christmas and New Year.
• Get the Flu Jab.
  (If your registered as a carer at your G.P you should of been offered this for FREE.)
• Get as much of your Christmas food before December. This can include all the naughty food as well.
• Try not to get stressed out, it’s only Christmas!(easier said than done I know).
• Ask for help if you’re not coping to well.There is always someone who can help you’d be surprised by the kindness of people especially this time of year.
• Keep warm.You may be entitled to get a warm home discount.

Have fun, it’s Christmas.

Merry Christmas everyone & remember take care of each other.
carer’s vent & Aka the raspberry

Technorati Tags: carers vent,raspberrytalk,christmas,christmas food,carers uk,carers connected,tesco,morrisons,asda,sainsburrys,supermarket,flu jab,health,The Warm Home Discount scheme

Making of a Mental Health Video

For a long time I have been wanting to do more for spreading awareness of mental health.

I have been retweeting stuff on twitter, but I felt this was not enough. So my idea to do a video came to me one night while wide awake in bed. The original idea was just to have captions to music, but after discussing it with @raspberrytalk we both agreed that actually talking about mental health would be better.

I was going to do the talking on the video, but I then thought it would be more impactful if we had both sides - mine as the carer and @raspberrytalk as the caree.

We neither of us dreamed this would take us on such an emotional journey - some feelings that had been buried come up to the surface while doing the video. But most of all, doing this video reminded us of what a good team we really are.
During the editing process it almost felt like old times when we used edit wedding videos together. Just a pity we don't have a decent camera any more :(

 

WE NEED TO TALK MORE ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH AND STOP THE STIGMA
 

@mindchairty
@stampstigma
@timetochange
@recoverycastle
@carersuk

Special thanks to
 our Family
Carers Connected
@raspberrytalk